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June 16, 2016

A Birthmother’s Story: Giving My Son the Best Gift

We truly love what we do here at New Beginnings. There’s nothing more rewarding than seeing a new family form right before our eyes. However, on the other side of every adoption is a birthmother. It wonderful to see a new forever family, but some of the most meaningful things we’ve experienced working in adoption is the close bond we’ve developed with several of our birth moms. These women are true inspirations. That’s why we are honored to share this story of one of our birthmoms who wanted to give her child more than what she had.

The following is one of our birthmother’s stories, written by her for you.

“Just keep your pants on until you’re married.” That was the extent of my dad’s sermon about the birds and the bees. But, I was 26 and I knew how things worked. I met a man at church and he was different. He was rebellious, interesting, and a little dangerous. It was exciting to be with someone so different than me. We met at church so it must have been God ordained, I thought. It was exciting to be a “good church girl” with a secret boyfriend. It seemed exciting to drink alcohol when no one else knew about it. And, of course, it was exciting to have sex with someone who I thought loved me.

Until, it wasn’t. I became pregnant and it wasn’t exciting. It wasn’t going to remain a secret very long. My secret wasn’t meant to last and neither was my relationship with my renegade boyfriend. Yes, the excitement was gone. Fear and despair took its place.

At 26 years old I could have taken care of a child. I had a career but what I wanted was a family. I spent all of my childhood in a broken home and I didn’t want my child to experience that. I wanted my child to have something better. But how could I give more than I had?

I expressed my concerns to my pastor and he told me about New Beginnings. He and his wife were with me when I made the first phone call to the birthmom hotline. That day I began the process of beginning an adoption plan.

Several months later I went to live at the New Beginnings Care Center for the last month of my pregnancy. The staff there were wonderful. I went to doctor’s appointments, counseling sessions, and other activities that were planned. With loving support, Debbie and the other staff helped me to choose a super couple that would raise my child. I even got to meet them before I gave birth. They were so sweet, and it confirmed my feelings that God was in control of my life. Slowly, I realized that something I thought was awful- an unplanned pregnancy – was actually something God could make wonderful – a chance for a couple to have a family.

In May of 2005 my son was born in Tupelo, MS. Debbie and Jody were with me the entire time, and labor went well. My little boy was perfect and I spent some time with him shortly after birth. I counted his fingers and toes, while explaining to my child that I couldn’t keep him. I told him how great his parents were going to be and that I loved him very much. It was a tearful goodbye.

I was sad, and his parents were joyful. I had nothing to give but his parents would give him the world. It was the “something better” I wanted for my son from the beginning.

The staff was always available and supportive. With them, and God, I stood firm in my adoption plan. I knew that adoption was going to be the best gift I could give my son and the fabulous couple that had already begun to parent him.

I haven’t seen my son since he was an infant. I receive photos and a letter from his mom every Christmas. I enjoy hearing that he is becoming a well-rounded young man. This past Christmas he wrote to me himself. He thanked me and told me he loved me. I cried from happiness.

Adoption was never part of my life’s plan and coming to Mississippi wasn’t a scheduled stop on my journey. However, I’m extremely grateful for the ministry of New Beginnings and the positive way they have helped me, other moms, adoptive couples, and especially the children.

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