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How to Offer Support to a Birthmother Choosing Adoption

August 27, 2014

Adoption is a life-altering decision for the birthmother and birthfather’s lives as well as many others. It is emotionally, mentally, and physically challenging, and because of these factors, the family and friends of the birth parents have a huge influence over the decision making process.

But as a family member or close friend, how do you support your loved one who is pursuing the adoption path? Allowing the birth parents to make the decision on their own is crucial, but supporting them in this time of need is equally as crucial. We understand the need to support them without impacting their decision, so we have some tips to help you navigate this potentially sticky situation.

1) Love: Often, adverse reactions to adoption come from surprise or not understanding how adoption may benefit the birthmother, the baby, and the adoptive family. It is important to remember this woman is a person you love and hold dear. Even if you disagree with her decision, don’t forget love always comes first.

2) Offer to help them with research: This is a great way to educate yourself as well as helping the birth parents fully grasp the magnitude of their decision. Knowing the birth parents aren’t making this decision based solely on emotion but instead on facts and logical reasoning will help soothe your mind and give you insight into how to help them.

3) Do your own research: To fully grasp the complexity of the adoption decision try educating yourself on the process or seek help from a social worker or adoption agency. The more you know the better you will feel.

4) Listen: If the birth parents are coming to you with this information, they have given it a great deal of thought. Give them a chance to present their side of the story. Also, there will be times when they simply need to talk or have a shoulder to cry on. Be the person who simply listens without interjecting opinions at every corner of the conversation.

5) Support: Without doubt, supporting the birthmother is one of the most important aspects of adoption. You can show support by simply being there for her physically and/or emotionally. Call her to check in while she recovers from birth. You could even bring a gift to the hospital after the birth of the child. If you cannot be there in person, you could send a gift using this service.

We know that this decision is difficult for everyone. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact us for further information at 662-842-6752.