Understanding Options

You have fears, pressures, rights, and most important choices. We’re here to help you understand and consider all of your options.

ADOPTION

SINGLE PARENTING

ABORTION

Adoption

We understand that adoption may not always be the best option for every woman. However, adoption may be the right option for you. Every birthmother has her own reasons for choosing adoption, whether it be for financial reasons, a traumatic experience, school, lack of support, or just not being ready to assume the responsibility of parenting. We exist to help you understand and evaluate your options.

Unlike adoptions in past generations, you will have the option of choosing and meeting the adoptive couple. Each couple is thoroughly screened so that we can assure you that your baby will be placed in a loving, secure Christian home. You can write your own adoption story and it can look however you want it to look for you.

Forms of Adoption

You will have the option to set the level of contact you want and feel comfortable having with your child. We offer three forms of adoption:

Open Adoption

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This means you can choose and meet the family and have the option of seeing the child again in the future.

Semi-Open Adoption

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You may choose and meet the family, but ongoing contact is handled through the agency. The family will send pictures and letters to keep you updated about the child’s progress. You can send gifts, letters, and photos.

Closed/Confidential Adoption

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You may choose the family if you wish, but you have the option of having no contact after the child is placed.

It is important to remember Adoption is not foster care. Foster care is temporary. Adoption is permanent and stable. Parenting a child is a commitment to provide a stable, loving and permanent home for a child. If you don’t believe you are able to provide that at this point in your life for whatever reason, adoption may be the best option for you. Adoption is NOT abandonment. It is choosing a family for a child when you are not at a place in your life to provide stability or a two-parent family.

When you make an adoption plan, you will have:

The right to be involved in all phases of the adoption plan.
The right to choose and meet the adoptive family that is perfect for your child.
The right to be treated with dignity and respect.
The right to have your questions answered honestly.
The right to continue to receive support and counseling after making an adoption plan.

Single Parenting

While single parenting is not easy, it may be the right choice for you. We applaud you for choosing “life” for your child, and it is important for you to be able to provide a safe and stable home for your child.

Will the birthfather be supportive of my decision to be a single parent?

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Birthfathers have certain and specific rights, but they may be limited. He may or may not choose to cooperate with your plan as a single mom and it may be a good idea to talk with him about this before your child is born to learn if he will be supportive of or opposed to your plan. If he threatens to oppose your adoption plan, it may be helpful to have a third party (New Beginnings provides this service to our birthmothers) remind him that he will be financially responsible for the child if he opposes your adoption plan. As a single mom, you may also want to consider rights he may have in regard to visitation and custody.

What about finishing high school and going on to college?

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Many single parents have completed high school and obtained a college degree. Being a single parent does not mean you cannot successfully overcome challenges you will face. However, the challenges are great and a high percentage of single mothers do not complete high school or college. How successful you will be will likely depend on the extent of support you receive from your parents, the birthfather and whether or not you are willing to make the necessary sacrifices to attend school, work, and parent at the same time.

Where will I live after my baby is born?

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Unless you have significant financial resources, “making it totally on your own” may prove to be very difficult depending on your age and level of education, as well as your employment opportunities. Your best option for housing will likely be with your parents and we encourage you to discuss your options with them.

What if I choose to parent and then decide I am not able to deal with the stress and responsibility?

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You may make an adoption plan at any time after you take your child home.

Things to think about

Single parenting can be very stressful and there are things that you may want to consider. Women, like you, have asked us questions like these:

Things to consider:

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Only 40% of teen mothers will graduate from high school

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Rick to the children

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Growing up without a father

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90% of homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes

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Less than 8% of teen dads marry their child’s mom

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Insufficient health care

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School failure

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50% of children raised by teen mothers are referred to social service agencies

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71% of pregnant teens come from a fatherless home

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Poverty

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Abuse and neglect

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82% of male inmates in U.S. prisons come from a fatherless home

— Statistics from “Decisions, Choices & Options” (Joi Wasill)

Abortion

Almost 1.2 million unborn children are aborted each year in the United States, while at the same time, each year, in the United States, 1.2 million families are on the waiting lists of licensed adoption agencies. The Lord has provided homes for the unborn children and is certainly grieved when innocent children pay the price for our mistakes. There is an alternative to abortion that has been tested and proven effective for thousands of years. It is God’s plan and His plans are good. New Beginnings is an adoption agency that wants to help you during this difficult time.

We do not condemn those who have chosen abortion—we offer a better way and support for taking the path of “life”. We offer abortion alternatives. At the same time, we help minister to those who have chosen abortion in the past. Thank you for visiting New Beginnings, we hope to have the opportunity to help you through this challenging time in your life.

Fetal Development Facts

Facts you should know before abortion:

When is a human a human?

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An unborn baby has a heart beat at 18-22 days after conception.
Brainwaves can be detected at 40-45 days after conception.
All the major body parts and organs are present at the end of 8 weeks.
When is a human a human?
Dr. Jerome Lejeune (geneticist) said, “As soon as the 23 chromosomes carried by the sperm encounter the 23 chromosomes carried by the ovum…a new human being is defined…”

— Statistics from “Decisions, Options & Choices” (Joi Wasill)

Consequences of Abortion

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“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God; listen to his voice and hold fast to him.”
Deuteronomy 30:19-20

“In 1981, I chose abortion as a way out of a crisis pregnancy. At the time, I felt trapped and like there was no other option. Every day people make choices. Often they are bad choices with dire consequences. According to statistics from Focus on the Family, 44% of all American women will have an abortion at some point in their lifetime.”

It has been said, “A woman chooses abortion like an animal caught in a trap chooses to gnaw off its leg.” Today, women across our nation will make that same decision. Most of these women will not hear about abortion alternatives.

“There is a better way and there is a way we can help. Adoption is a choice everyone can live with. Crisis pregnancy centers and homes for unwed mothers are struggling in the fight to save lives and spare women the devastation of an abortion experience.”

“People are unaware of the trauma that a woman faces after her abortion experience. Many women who choose abortion are going against their own moral code. In a survey on 260 post abortive women, over 50% of the women responded they agreed their decision to abort was “inconsistent with her prior beliefs and a betrayal of her own ideals.”

Post Abortion Syndrome

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In “Forbidden Grief,”Theresa Burke writes:

“Consequently, many women experience trauma known as Post Abortion Syndrome. The inability to process the guilt, anger, and grief related to the abortion will bring symptoms such as: depression, suicidal thoughts, flashback memories, nightmares, eating disorders, etc. The truth about the painful consequences of abortion is not common knowledge in our country. Since there is so much pain, women bear the consequences in secret.

Breaking the silence about abortion and its consequences will help those facing a crisis pregnancy to choose life and live. It also will help to bring healing to those who have carried the awful secret and pain of their abortion choice. There are words of life that will bring blessing and not cursing. We can help others to choose life and live.”

Resources

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Focus on the Family – Healing After Abortion by Teri Ki Reisser, M.S.,M.F.T. and Paul C. Reisser, M.D.Copyright – 2002

Forbidden Grief by Theresa Burke with David C. Reardon, 2002. Acorn Books – Springfield Illinois.

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