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Questions about adoption? We have answers.

October 7, 2013

Father_and_sonAll adoptions come with questions and doubts- for the adoptive parents and for the adopted child.  Questions may arise throughout the child’s entire childhood, and even go into his or her early adulthood.  Take a look at some of the more common questions we hear.

 Who are the children that need a forever family?

Infants, older children and teenagers are all available for adoption.  The children who need an adoptive family don’t look any different than you or me.  They come in all shapes and sizes, with a side of love.  Each one has his/her own special personality, interests and quirks.  Many children have special needs often because of the neglect or abuse that caused them to be taken from their birth family.  Most children in foster homes are school-aged children, so if you want to adopt a newborn, going through a private licensed agency, such as New Beginnings International Children’s and Family Services, is often the best option.

How can I be sure that the bond between my adoptive child is as strong as my bond with my biological child?

The idea that your blood runs through your biological children may have a strong psychological hold on you. Let it go and just focus on bonding. Once you bring this child into your home he or she is your child.

One of our social workers and an adoptive mom herself explains it like this, “I always consider how much I love my husband, who is no blood relation to me, so this child that God gave to us I am able to love just as much. I don’t have a biological child to compare it with, but I don’t see how I could love a biological child any more than I do my son.”

Still struggling? Try a few of these ideas:

  • Create new family traditions.
  • Take a vacation somewhere neither your family nor your newly adopted children have visited.
  • Dream together: where do you want to visit, what hobbies would you like to take up, what adventures would you like to tackle?
  • Set aside one-on-one time with your adopted child to get to know each other without the stress of the whole family around.

How do I raise a child whose personality and learning style are different from mine?

Even biological children often have very different personalities from at least one if not both their parents. While some traits run in families, others can be nurtured into your child.  Talk to your child’s teachers about his or her personality and learning style. Ask how you can help him/her adjust better in school. Read books and articles about different personality styles and how each one responds to love, encouragement and discipline.

Whatever you do, show the adoptive child love, it’s really the only thing that matters.

Do you have other questions about blending an adopted child into your family? Leave them in the comments!