There are many myths about the adoption process.  Many people find it surprising to learn that adoption is nothing like what they show on television. With so much misinformation out there, it’s hard to know what’s true. We believe every birthmother should have all of the correct information so that she can make the best decision possible.  Adoption has changed over the years, and we’re setting the record straight in today’s blog post. 

The Myth: All Adoptions Are Closed Adoptions

No, not all adoptions are closed adoptions. When it comes to making an adoption plan, the birthmother has three options to choose from. You can choose an open adoption plan — this means you can choose and meet the family and have the option of seeing the child again in the future. You can also choose a semi-open adoption plan — you may choose and meet the family, but ongoing contact is handled through the agency.  The family will send letters and photos, and the birthmother can also send letters, photos or gifts. The third option is closed adoption — you can meet the adoptive family if you would like, but there is no contact after the child is placed. We talk through each option with our birthmothers so that they can choose a path they feel most comfortable with for the future.

The Myth: Birthmothers Don’t Have Rights

Actually, birthmothers have a lot of rights. It’s important that every birthmother understands her options throughout the process. So, what kind of rights do birthmothers have? First, they have the right to be involved in every single phase of the adoption plan – including choosing the adoptive family for their child. Birthmothers are allowed to decide if they would like a closed, open, or semi-open adoption. Every birthmother has the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Also, many adoption agencies offer legal assistance to help birthmothers understand the options throughout the process.

The Myth: The Birthfather Has To Approve of The Adoption

While birthfathers may have certain and specific rights, they are more limited. These rights vary depending on the state that you live in and he may be required to sign a birthfather registry in order to exercise his rights. In some states, the law is designed so that he will at the very least be notified about the situation. If the birthfather opposes the adoption plan, it is important to remind him that he will be financially responsible for the child and required by law in most states to provide for you and for your needs during your pregnancy.  If there is not a mutual agreement about how to proceed, it’s helpful to have the adoption agency talk with him about the next steps.

The Myth: Birthmother’s Don’t Have A Say In Choosing the Adoption Family

This is also untrue. Unlike previous generations, you will have the option of choosing and meeting the adoptive couple. We thoroughly screen each couple so you can feel confident that your child is going to a secure and loving home. You can see some of our couples who are waiting to adopt a child into their family, here.

If you’re thinking about making an adoption plan, we will help you sort through the myths about the process. Our care team is ready to hear your story and learn how we can walk with you through this. Give us a call at 662-213-0369 for further guidance.